


This is Heaven

by Sneery69



Series: Shelter [2]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Anal Sex, Dom!Cas, M/M, Oral Sex, Panty Kink, Spanking, Sub!Dean, dom/sub dynamics, emotional break down
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-06-03
Updated: 2014-06-03
Packaged: 2018-02-03 07:23:58
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,929
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1736090
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sneery69/pseuds/Sneery69
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Dean is freaking out, Sam surmises.</p>
            </blockquote>





	This is Heaven

**Author's Note:**

> This is the Sequel to "Shelter"
> 
> If you want to listen to something while reading this, I suggest Lana del Rey's "Gods and Monsters".

Dean is freaking out, Sam surmises. It’s in the small creases around his eyes and the tight set of his jaw, the slightly too wide pupils and the sporadic twitch of his left eye lid as he absently pushes his last sausage around the plate.

Sam knows his brother. Some would say he knows him too well, and he’d be hard pressed to deny it. He knows Dean so well that he already concluded that this has to do with a conspicuously absent Castiel and their big homoerotic love story that everyone, but especially Sam, is quite tired to see the proliferations of.

“Dean”, Sam says, just to be annoying. 

“Sammy”, Dean replies automatically, but doesn’t even look up.

“We will get two rooms from now on. I’m not listening to this ever again. And you need to stop this…avoidance thing you’re doing, because at this stage it’s gonna end in disaster and I’m not cleaning it up.”

Sam is proud of himself. He conveyed his annoyance, his acceptance, and his unwillingness to see anyone suffer (especially himself).

Dean tries to look like he hasn’t been slapped in the face with a cold fish multiple times and fails. If it wasn’t so sad it would be funny. Well, Sam thinks it’s funny anyway.

“Oh and I wrote Cas. He’ll be here in about ten minutes.”

Dean gets coffee all over himself at this, and hell, it’s absolutely ridiculous. Sam knows since what feels like forever, probably since Dean gave up completely after Cas disappeared, but at the very least since he returned after Purgatory and his brother couldn’t take his eyes off the angel for days. 

Dean, apparently, hadn’t known. Or maybe he forgot.

How anyone could miss what person they were attracted to is beyond Sam, but he isn’t about to judge. Too harshly.

“Sammy, this is…I am…”

“I swear if you say “not gay” I’m going to punch you, Dean.”

Dean swallows the words down and stares at his plate again. 

“But…It’s Cas.”

Sam makes a questioning sound because this part he really doesn’t get. 

“It’s…my best friend, man. What…what if it doesn’t work?”

Ah, yes. Of course. “Dean. Seriously. You both fucked up and forgave each other so many times I have lost count. There’s no way in hell that this is not going to work. You’re…”

“If you say “perfect for each other” I’m gonna punch _you_.”

“Right. So are we done with this? Because I’d prefer not to be here when Cas arrives.”  
Dean hesitates. It looks like there’s actually something else, but in the end he doesn’t say it. Sam is about 98 percent sure it was going to be about Dad, but he guesses that’s a discussion for another, hopefully booze-heavy, day.

“Okay. I’m gonna check out the last library and then we can meet at the hotel at around four to summarize. You just… don’t freak out on him, okay?”

Dean’s brow creases in annoyance, and Sam counts it as a victory. Angry Dean is way easier to stomach than Uncertain Dean.

Before his brother can open his mouth, Sam leaves the diner, not without a final reproachful look.

___

 

When Cas enters the place, the picture of Dean sitting in the back corner frowning at his serviette makes him swallow for absolutely no reason.

Well, not exactly ‘no reason’. It’s just that the Dean sitting there and the Dean he remembers from last night seem to be so fundamentally different somehow, defenses all up again, clothes hiding the marks Castiel left. 

The memory of his hand around Dean’s throat makes him half-hard. He feels ashamed of himself suddenly, to think about carnal desires when Dean is so very clearly distressed, especially since this here is probably going to be the “huge mistake” talk daily soaps seem so fond of.

But he knew how this was probably going to end from the moment he left the shower and pulled Dean with him. He has to say a few things, at least, and he’s not going to back down now.

Cas crosses the room quickly and sits down across from Dean before he can think too much about it. Dean stares at him with the eyes of a deer caught in the headlights, but stays silent.

“Where’s Sam?” Cas asks just to say something, and Dean mumbles “research” into his cup of coffee, eyes cast down, cheeks red.

After several more moments of awkward silence Dean finally sighs: “So about…yesterday.”

___

 

“Dean, can we maybe talk about this somewhere else?” Cas suddenly asks, and his blue eyes look huge in the artificial light of the coffee shop, only bringing out the dark bags under them further. 

Dean nods, grateful for the respite. Maybe later, he’ll know what to say. Yeah, not bloody likely.

Cas stands and Dean guesses he is supposed to follow his lead, a thing which he seems surprisingly good at, after all. Dean blushes such a furious red that he can see it even in the dull reflection of the advertisement panels they pass.

They enter the hotel room quietly, and Dean tries desperately not to look into the direction of the bathroom because he knows, just knows that he’ll lose any composure he’s currently trying to fake if he starts remembering last night.

Cas turns to him the moment Dean closes the main door and he almost forgets how to breathe when he sees the emotion in his eyes, longing and anger a strange mix that Dean has no problems to decipher for reasons he’d rather not think about.

“Dean Winchester”, Cas starts while approaching him, and Dean swears he can hear the old rumble of angelic power in his voice.

“I find it hard to convey what I feel, but you will hear me out before speaking.” Dean feels his mouth close shut without consciously deciding to do so, and wonders if Cas’ powers have indeed decided to come back.

Cas crowds him against the door before continuing, arms at both sides of his head, effectively trapping him.

“I do not know what you think we did yesterday, but I want you to realize that it meant everything, _everything_ to me to be finally allowed to touch you. I’ve waited years for you, and I would have waited forever, even though I knew you wanted me, too.”

Cas draws in a ragged breath, and he’s so close that Dean can feel it against his lips. His eyes are wild and so desperate that Dean wants to drop to his knees and ask for forgiveness right away. He freezes the moment the thought registers fully in his brain, but Cas doesn’t seem to notice.

“If you’re going to tell me that it was ‘a bad idea’, then go ahead. But I want you to explain to me why.”

Dean takes note of everything Cas doesn’t say next to everything he actually does say, and it scares him a bit that he already seems to have decided on a course of action. Sometimes Dean thinks he knows his mind completely, and then sometimes…

“Kiss me”, he hears himself say. “Come on. Do it.”

___

 

Cas isn’t sure at first if he heard this correctly, but when he sees Dean’s defiant glare he feels his blood start to heat. He’s allowed to kiss him. 

He starts slowly, framing Dean’s face with trembling hands and touching his lips only with the softest of breaths. Cas couldn’t do it like this yesterday, everything was too heated and fast. But now…

Dean remains passive but doesn’t pull back, so Cas starts to nip at his bottom lip, then tugs a little harder until Dean finally moans softly and tilts his head so that their mouths fit together. Cas can feel Dean’s tongue dart out hesitantly against his own, retreating almost immediately but quickly coming back for more. The kiss starts getting heated when Cas presses himself further into Dean. There’s no question as to how aroused he already is.

Dean finally breaks away with a gasp, looking almost shocked. At what, Cas can only begin to guess. He doesn’t expect it at all when Dean says “Tell me. Tell me what you know about me. Tell me what I like.”

Cas can feel his expression slip into one of unadulterated surprise, but Dean looks like it cost him all his pride to say it, so Cas hurries to comply. He leans into Dean and tugs his head over his shoulder until his mouth is close to his right ear. Dean’s arms come up to embrace him automatically, and Cas moves his hands to the small of Dean’s back, fingers barely touching his buttocks. He can feel Dean shiver against him.

“That one time in the shopping mall, do you remember? You needed new trousers because that vampire almost burned you to ashes.” Cas uses the deep rumbling voice Dean always reacts to on a visceral level, and he isn’t disappointed now. Dean presses into him, lets him feel his half-hard cock through their clothes before finally nodding.

“You stopped at a table with fine lingerie, pretending to ogle the salesgirl, and Sam got angry and pulled you away. But I knew what you really wanted.”

Dean swallows and Cas is so close that he feels it against his cheek. He remembers the texture and width of Dean’s throat against his palm and has to take a deep breath himself.

“You wanted one of them for yourself. You especially liked a pink lacy pair with a white rim. You imagined trying them on behind the curtains of the small changing area, pictured someone coming up behind you and stroking your cock through the fabric.”

Dean makes an interesting sound then, something between a moan and a sigh, and Cas can feel him growing harder against his thigh.

“Sam interrupted your day dreaming, but later, when you were alone in your motel room, you locked yourself into the bathroom and pictured it again while pleasuring yourself. You thought about the lace catching against your cockhead while your mysterious stranger rubbed against your buttocks, pressing against you from behind. You shied away from imaging his fingers closer to your hole, though. Those thoughts you reserved for the nights when you were drunk.”

Dean swallows again, then nods. “Go on. What was I thinking about when drunk?” His voice sounds raspy. Cas doesn’t know why Dean makes him say all this, if it is his idea of foreplay or if it’s more than that, but Cas likes the effect it has on Dean regardless. And on himself, if he’s honest. When he collected all these moments it was still a taboo, a thing he didn’t dare even think about in case one of his angel brothers overheard. It still feels forbidden, in a way, and it wakes the same hunger for _more_ he felt yesterday.

“It always depends on how drunk you are, and how unhinged you feel. The worse your buzz, the darker your fantasies. You like to imagine someone sucking on your toes and on the soft skin next to the arch of your feet. You consider this a half-way okay kink to have, so you indulge frequently, but you never let anyone do it to you. You never even had a face for them in your fantasies, or at least not at those times when I was looking.”

Dean flinches next to him. “You…actually looked? Inside my head?”  
“Yes, Dean. I looked. I saw everything.”  
“Oh.”

“When you were a bit farther gone, you started fantasizing about rougher sex. Every time you were the one being held down by your partner. More often than not, they were male, but that fact never really registered to you. Sometimes they restrained you, and you would put your hands behind your back or above your head to get closer to the fantasy.”

Cas slowly pulls Dean’s hands from around him and up over their heads. “Like this.” Dean stares at him with a glaze in his eyes, pupils blown and cheeks red. 

“When you were so drunk that you could be fairly sure not to remember most of your thoughts the next day, you’d imagine dropping to your knees in front of them, completely surrendering to their will as far as sex was concerned.”

When Cas relinquishes his hold on his wrists, Dean slowly sinks down to his knees by himself, staring up at Cas with this half-surprised look on his face that Cas finds fascinating and frightening at the same time.

Without really thinking about it, he cups Dean’s cheek with one hand and guides his head closer to his crotch.

“Open my fly”, he says, making his voice gentle but firm, and Dean complies with a swiftness that speaks volumes about the decades he thought about this without any intention of letting himself have it.

___

 

Dean doesn’t know what is happening. His head feels foggy, his thoughts clouded by arousal. Somewhere in his mind, he realizes he’s about to blow Cas. He’s never done this to anyone, has never even dared to imagine…well, maybe, somewhere, he had…

He’s holding Cas’ cock in his right hand. How did he get here? It doesn’t matter. Cas’ fingers are in his hair, stroking and tugging slightly, and Dean realizes what he feels deep down is _peace_.

He wraps his lips around the head of Cas’ cock and stops thinking. It tastes like salt and musk, it smells like sex. He wants to see if he can make Cas lose control, wants to bring him pleasure, he wants to be _good_.

___

The feeling of Dean’s warmth around his cock is indescribable, so very like salvation that Cas has to close his eyes for a moment. “You’re so good for me”, he whispers, reverent, and Dean makes a desperate sound before swallowing him whole. He manages to relax his throat enough for Castiel to be completely sheathed inside his mouth, and Cas thinks that this is it, there’s no way he won’t come in the next ten seconds.

He grips Dean at his neck and holds him still before ever so slightly thrusting in and out of his mouth, not able to hold back a loud groan. “You’re so perfect, so warm, so … Dean, Dean…”

Castiel comes suddenly, overwhelmingly hard down Dean’s throat, and Dean has no choice but to swallow it all. A bit runs down his chin anyway, and Cas falls to his knees to lick it away.

He takes a moment to come down while Dean doesn't move except for drawing in ragged breaths. He’s still under, Cas realizes, and still hard.

“Strip, and lie down on the bed”, he tells him, getting up, pulling Dean with him gently.  
Dean obeys immediately, shedding his clothes methodically before crawling onto the bed. He hesitates for a moment, then drops on his back instead of his stomach, and looks at Castiel for further instruction.

“Tell me what you want”, Castiel says while he shrugs out of his own clothing, because while he likes to play the dominant part and he just had an awesome orgasm, this is supposed to be about Dean. Also, Cas is not completely sure now what he’s willing to do, even though he technically knows what Dean wants.

The question seems to confuse Dean. “I…everything. You.”  
“Everything is not a good answer, Dean”, Castiel growls and takes big steps towards the bed. “I don’t think you tried at all. On your stomach.”

Dean shivers but complies. He doesn’t know what is about to come, but he’s not afraid either, Castiel concludes. They should have spoken about safe-words. They really should have.

Cas drapes himself over Dean and enjoys the full body contact for a moment. He wants to stay like this, maybe cuddle Dean and stroke his back, but this is not what Dean needs right now. Cas shifts so that his mouth is close to Dean’s ear, and then whispers: “If it’s too much, or not what you want, you will tell me immediately. Understood?”

Dean draws in a shaky breath, and it moves both their bodies. Then, he nods.

“Good boy.” Dean shudders. “Now you will tell me what you want, or I will have to punish you.”

Dean whines, moving his pelvis down into the mattress and then up against Castiel. “I…I don’t know, Cas. I want… I want to come.”

Castiel sighs in disappointment. This would not do at all. 

“Really, Dean. I thought you’d at least try.”

He draws back until he sits next to Dean, letting his gaze travel down his spine to his ass. There are still bite marks from last night, and Cas can feel himself getting hard again at the reminder. 

“I’m sorry, I…”

“You will be sorry, don’t worry. Start thinking about a better answer.” Cas smacks Dean’s ass cheek hard.

Dean flinches, then mewls loudly. Castiel doesn’t stop, just hits the other side twice, then the right one again with more force.

Blood is rapidly flowing to the surface of Dean’s skin, and after only ten strokes, his ass is bright red and Dean doesn’t seem to know if he wants to get hit harder or get away from it.

“Cas”, he says, and Castiel stops for a moment in case it’s the beginning of a protest. “Cas, please, I need…I need…”

“What do you need, Dean? Do you need me to stop?”

“No, no please don’t stop Cas.... I deserve… I deserve to be punished harder.”

Castiel smiles and strikes a particularly sensitive spot at the juncture of ass and thigh that almost makes Dean scream in pain.

“On that, at least, we agree.”

It’s almost ten minutes later when Castiel decides Dean has suffered enough. He strokes over the abused flesh tenderly, noting how Dean’s whole body quivers at the touch. He bends down to kiss one of his bite marks before growling: “I hope you have thought about what you want.”

“I…I have.”  
“Very good. Tell me now.”

Dean squirms against Cas’ stroking hand, pushing his ass closer. Castiel can’t believe that he’s still not had enough – his skin has taken on an alarming shade of red by now. 

“I…I want you to fu…fuck me. And I…want to look at your face.”

Cas can’t believe Dean actually managed to say that. Their new relationship is still so fragile and he would have thought that Dean preferred to pretend it wasn’t really Castiel doing this, or that at least there were no feelings attached. Not that he will refuse him – it’s like all his desires have suddenly come true.

“Your skin is too tender. You will have to ride me.”

Dean whimpers. Actually whimpers. 

“Is that what you want?”

There’s no reply for a moment, and Cas is afraid he has misinterpreted Dean’s intentions. But then Dean moans, and slowly starts to get up on his hands and knees. “Yes. Yes yes yes, Cas, please, I need…”

“Shh. It’s okay Dean, you’ve got me.”

Cas flops down on his back and carefully positions Dean above him before fishing for the lube in the night stand. He might have checked earlier if Dean has any. (Of course he has)

He guides Dean’s lips down to his and at the same time starts circling his hole with one lubed finger, slowly pushing in.

They kiss like they haven’t kissed before – full of need and urgency, but also tentatively, aware that it’s new and breakable, what they have here.

Dean starts to push down on Cas’ hand almost immediately, making the most amazing sounds against his mouth, like this is everything he ever wanted and more. Maybe it is. 

“Now, now, Cas, please.”

Cas is fully hard by now, arousal surging through him at Dean’s neediness, and he nods. 

“Push down on me, but go slowly. If it hurts, you will stop or this is over.”

Dean whines again, burying his face in Castiel’s neck, and slowly starts to lower himself.

Cas grabs his cock to hold it steady while guiding Dean with his other hand on his hips.

Dean actually does as he is told and goes slowly, although the strain of holding back is clear in the quiver of his thighs and the way he sucks harder at Castiel’s skin.

He starts to babble as soon as he’s fully sheathed, flaming buttocks touching the coarse hairs on Castiel’s legs.

“Wanted you so long, wanted this so bad, Cas, imagined riding you, wanted you to take me, just…”

“Shhh, Dean, it’s okay. You can have me anytime, for as long as you want, now.”

Dean starts moving, tears running down his face. His beautiful eyes stare down at Cas, shiny and bright. Dean braces himself on Castiel’s chest and starts to push down harder, moaning at the pleasure-pain against his skin and the fullness of Cas’ cock in him. Dean cries out when it hits his prostrate, and when Cas grabs his buttocks roughly to press him down further, Dean screams his name and comes all over them both convulsively.

Cas follows immediately, the beauty of Dean coming apart completely even more overwhelming now that he can look at his face directly.

___

They breathe heavily in sync until Dean moans softly, this time in discomfort.

Cas tentatively guides him down on his stomach. “Don’t move”, he instructs and gets up.

He returns with a wet cloth, a salve and a glass of water. He cleans first Dean and then himself, careful to avoid any particularly sensitive areas, and then makes Dean drink the whole glass.

“This is going to hurt, but I need to apply salve to your skin”, he says, suddenly unsure again. This is a part he doesn’t know about instinctively. He got it from a website when he did research on this.

Dean just nods weakly and doesn't move otherwise, so Cas squeezes an excessive amount of the cool salve directly across his ass and then tenderly starts to rub it in, careful not to touch the reddest parts directly.

Dean doesn't so much as twitch, though, and when Cas lies down again next to him to take a look at his face, Cas flinches back. Dean’s expression is shuttered, almost empty except for the tears still running down his face.

Cas is sure this isn’t supposed to happen. Is Dean having second thoughts again? What should he do? His gut tells him to take him into his arms, but what if Dean wants distance? What if…

Cas realizes he’s running out of time. If Dean withdraws further he might not reach him anymore. Determined to fix this, he draws Dean into a tight embrace and starts to stroke his back while murmuring his adoration and love into Dean’s neck. 

He thinks about all that they've been through while Dean starts crying harder, all the times he thought he’d lost him, every instance someone else made cruel japes about their twisted friendship. Every time he wanted to tell him.

“I love you so much”, Cas whispers against Dean’s neck before he can talk himself out of it. Dean sobs but buries his head deeper into Cas’ chest, and finally, after what seems like hours but has to be seconds, he calms down enough to mumble: “Idiot.”

“I suppose”, Cas agrees, frowning down at him. “Go to sleep. I’ll wake you in time.”

Dean does as he says with a smile on his face.

**Works inspired by this one:**

  * [Pink Satin](https://archiveofourown.org/works/2253918) by [Galadwen](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Galadwen/pseuds/Galadwen)




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